never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He shit in the fireplace
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
