I wish I could teleport
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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