WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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