i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you traded sex for a burrito?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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