you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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