im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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