One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Your penis caused this!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
