She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
