I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
