D3 body, D1 cock
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
