I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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