I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Pants are for mortals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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