My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
