Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
