Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
