You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
