Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize