what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
