i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize