I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize