You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
