got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
