I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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