Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
