i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize