Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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