Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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