We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
