i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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