I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
