I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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