I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i drank out of a bidet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
