No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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