By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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