he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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