Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
