My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My dick has a subreddit
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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