should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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