I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
