mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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