You really coming over, don't trick.
hotel room ftw
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even my vagina gasped.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
