The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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