matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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