and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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