After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize