Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
