a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
