oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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