I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
