She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize