This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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