I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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