whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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