I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My penis needs a shock collar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
