I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There r osticjed everywhere
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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