can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
